As Black women, we were trained by well meaning parents, grandparents, and elders in our community that putting yourself first was selfish and that we were supposed to put others first (good Christians always think of others first). We were inadvertently taught that other’s wellbeing was more important than our own, so we took a backseat in our own lives. Today, we don’t even realize that the guilt we feel when we want to take one simple hour from our family, work, church, commitments and do something purely for ourselves is a trauma response from lessons learned in our past. We don’t even know WHY we feel guilty for just wanting to do the bare minimum for ourselves first.

Does this sound like you? You are used to being overwhelmed, overworked, underappreciated, and just bone tired. You put your all into your friends and families, your work/businesses, your communities and any cause that touches your heart. You are the STRONG one whom everyone comes to for help, but when you need help, it is rarely there. You put your own dreams and desires on hold to make sure that those you love are taken care of, even at your own expense! You smile even when you want to scream and cry at the top of your lungs because you are hurting.

If any of that resonates with you and you are used to feeling this way, I want you to know that it doesn’t have to continue to be that way. I am here to help you get through it. I want to help you heal from your past trauma and current pains. I want to help you leverage your inner strength to set the right boundaries and start telling people NO; it is a complete sentence. I want to help you fill your self-care toolkit with the experiences, tools, rituals, and supportive tribe that will help you release that guilt and stress, renew your commitment to putting yourself first, reclaim you METIME, and reconnect with the best version of you.

Baby girl, you cannot continue to try and pour from an empty vessel. You need to refill your cup until it is overflowing and joyous. You can give more of yourself from a place of abundance instead of a place of lack. And THEN, you can wake up happy every day knowing that you are no longer a second place citizen in your own life!

Are you ready to take a journey with me?